Ever wanted to give a loved one a dose of reality or shall we say a “a reality hit”?
Well, now you can.
You see my parents decided to name me, their first and only child, ‘Reality,’ during a time of their life when they themselves were far from it. But, rather than letting it hold me back in life I have decided to turn lemons into lemonade, trash into treasure, and kale into smoothie—I am making a career out of it.
For just three easy payments of $99.99, I will follow your fantasy-living, reality-avoiding loved one for one whole day, and slap them each time they avoid facing reality.
Has your spouse been “writing” the next best seller for the past ten years and still is nowhere close to finishing? Slap across the face.
Is your adult child refusing to move out of the house until they have saved enough money to buy a house in a major Australian city? Slap across the face.
Does your loved one keep putting off pursuing a real career because they are this close to getting discovered for insert talent here? Slap across the face.
So what are you waiting for? A realistic future is just a click away!
For enquiries email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit realitysucks.com.au
Reality takes a deep breath and sits back in her chair, imagining the hilarities, the headlines, the outrage, the fandom, the sunrise interviews that must await her in the weeks ahead.
“Are you sending out job applications?”
“Good. Remember, don’t be picky.”